Children are reflections of their parents. To a certain extend, it is quite true. I have been teaching for almost 14 years, although I am not a mummy yet, I can proudly say that I know children's behaviour well as I have to handle children from 3 to 21 daily (You can imagine how many kids I see each week since 2001!). (These are just my opinions and I am in no position to judge anyone parenting method)
1. Encouraging parents breed confident children.
I can't emphasise this enough to parents. Unfortunately, in Asian's culture, we do not grow up in such environment. The normal thing parents will do is to demean their child, tell them they are not good enough and expect the child to be motivated and strive to be better. This is a big NO NO! Children do not respond well to criticism, they will respond when they think they can do well! Be generous will your praise and they will soar:)
*On a side note, I believe in praise (not flatter nor lie about their strength). If you think that praising a child will make him/ her proud, then that's where you can teach them to be humble yet recognising his/her strength.
2. Effective parenting skill do not come with shouting, screaming or threatening.
I have many well behaved, cooperative, responsible students whose parents do not throw their temper on them, nor do I see shouting/ death stares/ demeaning words from their mum or dad. Those are the ones who will read story books while waiting for class (not playing games on iPad, I am perfectly fine with gadgets by the way, just not too much). From what I have observed, the parents read books together with them too instead of being busy on their gadgets, so I believe that children take after their parents.
3. Responsible parents, responsible children.
Parents who are responsible to check on their children's work, or monitor their practising sessions at home, produce responsible children in their weekly assignments.
4. Parents who spend quality time with their children, produce secure children.
I understand that most parents work very hard to provide for the family, giving them the best education and sending them to the best enrichment classes. By giving a little more time to attend their performances, guide them along in their learning journey and be interested in what they are doing will bring your children to another confidence level.
There was once I bumped into parents of my student (Youngest of the three children), so I thought they are out to bring her for another class, to my pleasant surprise, they are just out with her alone to spend quality time with her without the other two siblings:) A great example that I can learn from.
5. Words of affirmation will bring them far.
I have learnt this from one of my students' mum. Instead of giving her children gifts as rewards for good playing (on the piano); the mum passed me a notebook to write encouraging words to them. I think this is quite a good idea as they can read through when they have grown up. I have written a short letter to both the children (the mum has a son and daughter) in the notebook where I can be more expressive and detailed in my words of encouragement to them. Believe me, whenever you praise a child, he/she will have a higher tendency to respond positively.
I am still in the process of learning to be a better teacher. Feel free to comment and share with me more tips about nurturing children:)
Are you having difficulties to get your child to practise on his or her instrument at home? Are you sick and tired of shouting at your children just to get them to practise? Here are some tips for you to have a happy practising session at home.
1. Fix a practice time.
Children follow routines well generally. As parents, you have to guide them, tell them what and when to do, how much to do... etc. They are just kids, really, you can't expect them to study or practise (correctly) on their own especially if they fall under the age of 7 or 8. Help your children by telling them what time to practise and for how long. Keep the practise session short and sweet for younger children.
“We become what we repeatedly do.” -Sean Coveys-
2. Make practise time fun!
Do up reward charts for your children and reward them accordingly. I always believe in rewarding children for their hard work. Visual aids like reward chart is good as most children are visual learner, when they SEE that they have accomplish much, they will feel accomplished and be more confident in themselves.
"Success breeds success." -Shinichi Suzuki-
3. Believe and keep encouraging your child.
Instead of telling your child "You better practise if not you will play badly like last lesson!", try encouraging your child by saying "You did your notes really well, let's try to make the rhythm as good?" Keep believing in your child and speak positively to him or her, children are very sensitive and they will grow to how your words frame them. They will do well as long as you believe in them and guide them.
“A child's slowness in any subject indicates a deficiency in
his environment, educational or otherwise.”
- Shinichi Suzuki-
4. Have mini concerts.
Have a mini concert at the end of the week at home. Your audience can be stuff toys, cars or even your family friends who will pop by your house every week for gathering. Let your children have something to look forward to always. Video the performance and be proud of their effort, praise them for the good things they did and don't judge them immediately. It is never easy to perform in front of audience or even facing the camera (you can try it on your own), don't tell your children "Why do you still make mistakes when playing such easy pieces!" You really have no idea how much effort it takes to play London Bridge with both hands.
5. Be involved.
Try your best to keep your children company when they practise, your simple gesture means a lot to them! Imagine children don't feel good to play with their favourite toys ALONE, what's more you leave them alone to PRACTISE-AND-BETTER-GET-IT-RIGHT?? Give your kids attention and your time as much as possible, they are not trying to be dependant on you; your praise and presence means the world to them.
6. Praise them.
Keep the learning journey a positive one instead of comparing them with their cousins or classmates. Every child is different (very different in fact), so stop telling them "Your cousin who is in primary 3 already playing grade 5 pieces, why can't you so play as good as they are?!!" It's not the matter of being slow or fast, it is the amount of time and effort you put in as a parent as well. For those kids who can play very well (as seen on YouTube or TV), you have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how much time they spend on the piano. I have seen ballerinas who opt for home school so that they have MORE TIME on perfecting their art.
7. Attend concerts together.
"Man is a child of his environment." - Shinichi Suzuki-
Surround your children with fine music. CD, youtube, concerts, music festival, performances, group classes... etc. Children learn from each other; if they hear something they like in a concert, they will be inspired to learn the new pieces too. Recently the cartoon Frozen is a big hit all over the world, you will be amazed at how much efforts students are willing to put in and play "Let it go" or " Do you want to build a Snowman" so that they can perform to their friends and relatives. They are just so in love with the songs!
8. Play pop tunes.
Children love it when their performance are appreciated. They feel good when they can play some pop or Disney tunes on the piano and their friends admire them like never before. This gives them confidence, or I should say it will boost their confidence (confidence should never be built on ability only, if not children will lose self esteem one day if they fail in any exam).
1. Respect each other.
For parents: Yes you are the one paying the money, but it is imperative to have respect for their scope of work. They are not here to render some customer service for you; most importantly, teachers are here to nurture and educate your child to appreciate music, if possible, even to perform beautifully one day.
For teachers: Respect the children and their parents, be professional at all time. Do not be too familiar and over friendly, always show interest in what they have to tell you.
2. Set your goals together.
For parents: Discuss with the teacher during the very first lesson about your goals for your child. Let the teacher know why you have signed up your child for music lessons, or why you have chosen that particular instrument.
For teachers: Ask the parents are they aiming for examination in a short period of time ( 1 to 2 years) for their child. Explain to them your teaching style (every teacher is different), find out if anyone at home can play the instrument, and who will be taking charge of assisting the student to practise at home. Remember to tell them music a lifelong passion, not just for graded exams (short term).
3. Communicate and update each other about student's progress.
For parents: Let the teacher know if you have problem getting your child to practise at home, always be interested in your child's progress and be involved in his or her music journey. Teachers appreciate parents who show interest and make effort to follow up with the child's progress.
For teachers: Don't assume that parents know what to do, or how to practise with their child. Give clear instructions, for example, when to practise? (when the child is not tired) How long to practise? (Give a rough guideline, always keep practise short and sweet unless students are doing high grades) What are the goals for that particular week? (E.g.: Bar 1-4, get the notes accurately) Show interest in how they are doing at home during the week.
4. Be punctual.
For parents and teachers: Arrive at least 10- 15 minutes before your lesson, it gives time to to prepare for a more productive lesson.
"Punctuality is the politeness of kings."~Louis XVIII~
5. Be sincere.
For parents: If you want to terminate lessons with the teacher, just be very open and tell the teacher your reasons, never cook up story and try to "hide" the fact that you already started lessons with someone else (or most probably someone else who charge you a cheaper fees). As teachers, we are professional and we won't get offended if you have decided to switch to another teacher.
For teachers: If you want to terminate lessons with the students, give one to two months notice to the parents, let them have enough time to find a replacemen
1. Respect each other.
For parents: Yes you are the one paying the money, but it is imperative to have respect for their scope of work. They are not here to render some customer service for you; most importantly, teachers are here to nurture and educate your child to appreciate music, if possible, even to perform beautifully one day.
For teachers: Respect the children and their parents, be professional at all time. Do not be too familiar and over friendly, always show interest in what they have to tell you.
2. Set your goals together.
For parents: Discuss with the teacher during the very first lesson about your goals for your child. Let the teacher know why you have signed up your child for music lessons, or why you have chosen that particular instrument.
For teachers: Ask the parents are they aiming for examination in a short period of time ( 1 to 2 years) for their child. Explain to them your teaching style (every teacher is different), find out if anyone at home can play the instrument, and who will be taking charge of assisting the student to practise at home. Remember to tell them music a lifelong passion, not just for graded exams (short term).
3. Communicate and update each other about student's progress.
For parents: Let the teacher know if you have problem getting your child to practise at home, always be interested in your child's progress and be involved in his or her music journey. Teachers appreciate parents who show interest and make effort to follow up with the child's progress.
For teachers: Don't assume that parents know what to do, or how to practise with their child. Give clear instructions, for example, when to practise? (when the child is not tired) How long to practise? (Give a rough guideline, always keep practise short and sweet unless students are doing high grades) What are the goals for that particular week? (E.g.: Bar 1-4, get the notes accurately) Show interest in how they are doing at home during the week.
4. Be punctual.
For parents and teachers: Arrive at least 10- 15 minutes before your lesson, it gives time to to prepare for a more productive lesson.
"Punctuality is the politeness of kings."~Louis XVIII~
1. You assume that the parents check the communication book every week.
Truth: They don't. They are too busy with work and taking care of the children. They might be more interested in how they perform in school, so most probably as teachers, you have to initiate to update the parents about their children's progress through text or email. Don't wait for them to ask for updates, when they do, it is when they feel that the child is not making any progress. Communication is very important.
2. You assume that students will remember to tell their parents about class schedule.
Truth: Students and parents will turn up even during holidays, as they do not keep track of the school calendar. So always remind the parents personally. Communication is the key.
3. You assume that students know how to achieve the goals you have set for them.
Truth: Students do not know how to go about solving problems on their own. For example, if they have a problem with fast passages, they might just repeat the same passage with mistakes at a fast speed without knowing how to tackle the problems. Always show them step-by-step on how to practise, how long to practise, how much to practise.
4. You assume that parents know when and how much to pay you.
Truth: Parents might forget the amount to pay you (yes, even if they pay you every month); before you start teaching the student, make sure you set your rules, for example, payment on first week of the month. Some parents might pay at the end of the month, whatever works for you and them. Write down on somewhere regarding payment, money is a sensitive issue.
5. You assume that your effort and time are well appreciated.
Truth: Well, some people might appreciate you for your patience and time for teaching, but not all the time. You might feel emotionally attached to certain student because of various reasons, the reality is they might not feel attached to you at all! So be professional, always have boundaries. Boundaries keep relationships healthy.
Just created a space to share random thoughts on music, teaching music, good music, writing music... Just anything regarding arts and music, more posts to come soon!
